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How to announce your elopement—without triggering discomfort or a wave of emotions—is one of the biggest questions couples face when they choose to elope.

If you’re asking yourself that question, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s probably the main reason why so many couples hesitate to follow through with their dream of an intimate wedding.

Honestly? We didn’t even know elopements were a thing when we got married in 2012. And it’s our biggest regret. If we’d known this kind of wedding was possible—and how to announce your elopement without hurting anyone—we probably would’ve done things differently.

So today, we want to share what we’ve learned… so that you can say yes to your kind of wedding, with confidence.

What if we got married our way?

Confession time… We only have one regret about our own wedding: not eloping.

It wasn’t just that we didn’t know how to announce our elopement—we didn’t even realize it was possible to get married in a different way. We didn’t know elopements existed. If we had, we would’ve made completely different choices.

Back then, Patrick dreamed of getting married in the Magdalen Islands—a place that meant so much to both of us. But I couldn’t picture how we could actually pull that off. All I could see were obstacles. And more than anything… I was scared of disappointing my family.

We hadn’t even heard the word elopement. And we didn’t have any examples to inspire us—not in the media, not online, nowhere. If someone had just shown us what was possible, maybe we would’ve had the courage to say:

“Let’s do it our way.”

That’s why we created Love is Nord: to help couples who—just like we were—feel stuck between what they really want and what society (or their loved ones) tell them they should do.

And you know what? Every single couple we’ve worked with who chose to elope—not one of them regrets it.

The biggest obstacle? It’s often other people

When we talk about elopements, there’s one reaction we hear all the time. But it doesn’t come from the couples—it comes from the people around them.

Most couples who reach out to us have already done a lot of soul-searching. They know what they want. What throws them off, though, is imagining how others might react:

• “You’re really doing this just the two of you?”
• “But your family is going to be so disappointed…”
• “Isn’t that kind of selfish?”
• “So… who’s invited?”
• “But it’ll still be a real wedding, right?”

Sound familiar? It’s rarely you asking those questions—it’s everyone else.

Your loved ones. Your coworkers. Your family. People who picture weddings as big parties in crowded halls, filled with long-standing traditions.

And that pressure? It’s often the hardest part. Not the budget. Not the planning. Just… the fear of being judged.

Even when you know what you want, there’s often that little voice asking:

Are we allowed to do things differently?

Is it selfish not to invite everyone?

The answer? No.

It’s not selfish to want a day that reflects who you are. It’s not a whim. And just because it’s small doesn’t mean it matters less.

Your wedding isn’t a debt you owe anyone. It’s not a performance.

It’s a celebration of your love and commitment. And if you’re dreaming of something more personal, simpler, more you—that deserves all your attention.

Because eloping isn’t “running away”—it’s choosing differently

Here’s what we hear all the time from couples who elope:

• “We want to take the time to truly live our day.”
• “We want to get married outdoors, surrounded by nature.”
• “We want something simple, but meaningful.”
• “We want every moment to matter.”

And sometimes: “We want to escape the big party that doesn’t feel like us.”

Whatever your reason, it’s valid. Choosing to elope doesn’t mean hiding. It doesn’t mean your loved ones can’t be part of it.

In fact, more than half the couples we work with include family or close friends in their elopement.

And for those who go just the two of them? There are so many beautiful ways to involve your people.

So… when should you tell them?

There’s no “perfect” time to break the news. There’s only your time—the one that feels right for you.

Some couples tell people right away. Others wait until everything is planned. Some even wait until after the elopement has happened.

And that’s okay. You don’t need to justify your timeline.

Sometimes, you just need space to experience this chapter peacefully—without questions, pressure, or having to explain yourself.

But if we could offer one gentle piece of advice? When possible, tell them before the big day. Not because you owe it to them, but because it opens a door. A space for listening. Even if it doesn’t go perfectly, it gives them time to process. If you’re wondering how to announce your elopement in a way that keeps the peace, doing it early is often the kindest approach—for everyone involved.

Of course, every story is different.

Sometimes, there are deeper reasons for waiting—family tensions, toxic dynamics, painful pasts.

You are allowed to protect your peace. The important thing is to do what feels right for you.

And… how do you actually tell them?

“How do we announce our elopement with kindness and confidence—without making it weird?”

This is the #1 question we hear. If you’re unsure how to announce your elopement and still make your loved ones feel included, these ideas might help.

1. Be clear on your why

Before sharing your decision, take a moment together to reflect on your why. Why eloping? What does this day mean to you?

When you speak from the heart, people feel it. It doesn’t have to be a speech. Just share your truth.

For example:

“We wanted something really intimate, so we could focus entirely on what we’re experiencing together that day. It’s our way of celebrating our love—without stress or pressure.”

You don’t owe anyone a justification. But sharing your genuine motivation helps others understand.

Some common reasons we hear:

• We don’t want to go into debt for one day.
• We want to travel for our wedding.
• We’re not comfortable being the center of attention.
• We want something quiet, simple, and meaningful.
• We want to say our vows in a remote, special place.
• We want to enjoy every second without timelines or expectations.

When it’s said sincerely, people can tell it matters to you. And even if they’re a bit disappointed, they’ll understand.

2. Choose the right moment—and the right way

If you’re close to someone, try to tell them in person or on a video call. Avoid the “btw we got married without you” text (tempting, we know 😅).

Take your time. Tell them calmly. Give them space to react. Listen.

Your mom may have dreamed of helping you pick your dress (and she still can, by the way!) or throwing a big party. It’s okay if she needs time to adjust.

But remember: it’s not your job to make someone else’s dream come true. You can listen. You can validate their emotions—without carrying them. This isn’t a selfish decision. It’s a brave one.

3. Reassure them (if you want to) by involving them in your own way

No, you’re not turning your back on them. No, it’s not a rejection.

You can elope and celebrate with your people.

Here are a few sweet ways to include them:

• Invite your parents or kids to witness your ceremony—then spend the rest of the day just the two of you.
• Let loved ones help you choose your outfits.
• Ask them to write you letters to read on your wedding day.
• Record a video message to share with them afterward.

We even wrote a full article about this: 👉 How to Include Your Loved Ones in Your Elopement

4. Celebrate with them—before or after

If your loved ones are sad about “missing” your wedding, you can still gather to celebrate.

Whether it’s a relaxed brunch, a cozy dinner, or a backyard party with a photo slideshow—it gives everyone a chance to share your joy and extend the magic.

Sharing the celebration later is also a lovely part of how to announce your elopement in a thoughtful and inclusive way.

What not to do

1. Don’t over-explain

Yes, you might still be nervous about breaking the news. But remember—you don’t have to convince anyone.

You’re not on trial.

This is your wedding. Explain gently, sure—but you don’t need approval to validate your choice.

2. Don’t try to fix everything

Some people may feel disappointed—and that’s okay. It’s not your job to make everyone happy.

Let us say this clearly, with all our hearts:

You have the right to choose what brings you joy. You have the right to do something simple, real, and magical—just for the two of you (or with the few people you choose). And even if it’s scary to break the mold… it might just be the most powerful decision you ever make together.

And if you need help bringing it all to life—or just someone who gets what you’re feeling—we’re here. We’ve been there too.

In short: there’s no “right” way to announce it—only your way

How to announce your elopement is often the trickiest part of the whole experience. Deciding to elope is already a big step, but figuring out how to share that choice with your loved ones—with kindness and respect—takes a certain finesse. It’s usually this little piece of the puzzle that feels more complicated than it really is.

What we hope is that you walk away from this feeling prepared. And more importantly, validated. You have every right to write your own script. To live a day that feels like you. And to talk about it openly, without apologizing.

Some couples choose to share the news well in advance. Others prefer to keep things private, enjoying the moment in a bubble, away from outside opinions. And sometimes, there are deeply personal reasons for not saying anything until after—strained family relationships, toxic dynamics, a need for emotional safety. All of those are valid.

So here’s the truth about announcing your elopement: do it with intention. In your own way. At your own pace. And if you’re still unsure—or just want a team who will listen without judgment—we’re here for that. We’ve been through it too. We get it.

Because sometimes, how to announce your elopement is less about finding the “right” words… and more about giving yourself permission to live your truth.

If you’d like to explore more perspectives on the topic, we really enjoyed this article — 10 Healthy Family Communication Skills & How to Implement Them — which approaches it with a lot of nuance and empathy.