Eloping is not for everyone. It’s not a fashionable statement, an impulsive decision, or something you should do to look cool. Here we share real reasons why the couples we work with, to guide and photograph them on their wedding day, decided to elope rather than organize a conventional wedding.
Above all, your wedding day should be an intentional celebration, uniting your lives together in a way that is true to your personality, your relationship and your journey as a couple. An elopement offers you the possibility of creating a personalized wedding day without the pressures that are exerted on so many couples when organizing a large wedding. We believe that regardless of whether you choose an intimate wedding or a traditional wedding, you need to ask yourself real questions that will allow you to determine what type of celebration is right for you! Click here to learn more about what an elopement is.
Here are some reasons why the couples we guided chose to elope rather than plan a traditional wedding.
It’s a question of authenticity and intent. For many of our couples, planning a big wedding is more like something they would do for everyone else than something they do for themselves. They realize that it is an important moment and instead of feeling obliged to put on a show for hundreds of people, they prefer to enjoy the day in a much more intimate way by letting go of the traditions. Each human being is different. So why would there be only one way to celebrate a wedding?
The wedding industry presents a perfect picture of what a wedding day should and shouldn’t look like. If you are to believe their hype, you are supposed to have dreamed of your wedding day all your life. If some people create Pinterest boards even before the marriage proposal has even been made … for many couples this really is not the case.
Several couples told us that the planning of a conventional wedding and all the stress that it brought had just become too overwhelming. They chose to elope instead because they felt like their day was more about entertaining guests than reflecting their personalities or their relationship.
“It’s our day, we don’t want to have to take into account the opinions of others. “
Everyone has an idea on how you should celebrate your day and some believe they are entitled to share it with you. Sometimes you feel compelled to invite someone you don’t particularly like just because you are related or feel pressured to make choices that will appeal to others.
A wedding day should really only concern the couple. Say goodbye to the Bossy Queens (and Kings!) and organize a wedding that suits you – and nothing else.
Many of the couples we work with appreciate new experiences and adventures rather than bling bling, possessions and things. By choosing to elope, you start your new life in a memorable place while discovering a new culture, a new landscape or a new activity. Whether you decide to elope in a place on your bucket list or a place that is significant for both of you, the day remains faithful to the experience rather than to material goods! You don’t need a wedding cake, a caterer or other suppliers unless you really want them!
Do you want to hike in the morning and then exchange your vows at sunset?
Or, are the beach and the sea more your thing and you want to explore islands by kayak and exchange your vows on the beach?
Or do you rather want to relax at the chalet in the morning, while remembering all the reasons why you will finally say yes to each other and exchange your vows in the middle of a clearing in a pine forest?
The possibilities are endless to personalize your wedding day experience as you wish. Traditional weddings often become copy and paste versions, because of suggestions from your wedding planner or because you are unaware of other options. An elopement offers the opportunity to build a personalized wedding experience according to your interests and your relationship.
As intimate wedding and elopement guides and photographers, we are here to help you, to ask the difficult but crucial questions and to make your day a memorable experience!
Here is another reason for choosing en elopement. Many cringe at the thought of being the center of attention. Are you worried about the idea of saying intimate vows in front of a room full of people? Not having to be the center of attention is probably the most common reason why the couples we work with choose to elope!
Many are introverts, like us, and sharing personal vows in front of an audience is stressful! It’s easier to let your heart speak and enjoy the moment in an intimate ceremony. Why not just invite the people who really matter? Or why don’t you do it, just the two of you, in front of a celebrant? Cannot get any more intimate than that!
And eloping does not prevent you from having a first dance if you want! But imagine how good you will feel if no one is there to judge your dance moves … Or the fact that you rather want to take out the ukulele and sing this song that you specially composed …
“Because at the end of the day, we don’t need a room full of people to validate our love. We do it in our everyday life. “
You don’t have to sacrifice special moments when you elope. In fact, intimate weddings give you the freedom to experience your wedding day as you wish.
In 2019, the average cost of a wedding in Canada is around $ 30,000. Think about it for a moment … $ 30,000 is a big down payment for a house. Or a year-long trip around the world. Or the reimbursement of university tuition fees.
And after seeing several couples planning large weddings, we bet that this average is very biased by couples who do very discreet events in cheap places. We bet that traditional weddings with a hundred guests in a cool place with a flower arch, vintage cutlery, open bar, poutine bar, candy bar and a live music group cost much more than that.
We are not here to judge how you spend your money. Not at all! If a big wedding is what you’ve always dreamed of, go for it! But if it’s not really what you want, think about what you’d like to do with that extra 30-40-50 thousand dollars. The possibilities are limitless! We won’t hide the fact that one of the reasons for eloping is to allow you to focus your resources on what is important to you.
The beautiful thing about not spending a lot of money on a wedding day is that you can splurge on the things that really matter to you. Like traveling to an incredible place for your elopement, buying the dress you really like or hiring these photographers (Hi!) who were off budget when you had so many other things to worry about. It is very difficult to plan a traditional wedding for $ 10,000 and to make it look like what you have always dreamed of, but for $ 10,000 you can have a DREAM DESTINATION WEDDING somewhere amazing around the globe. Since you have far fewer vendors to pay (often we’re the only ones – think about it for a second!), that means you can splurge on those you really care about.
Planning a wedding can take months, even if you don’t invite 500 people. If you hate the idea of spending hours choosing flower arrangements and attending cake tastings, skip it! If you have no interest in the color of the cocktail napkins, the height of the centerpieces and the number of forks to the left (or right ???) of your plate, you will love to elope because it eliminates all that is useless!
Organizing a traditional wedding almost always means following a timetable that is set to the quarter. Unfortunately, there is never a time for the couple to take advantage of the present moment and forget the timeline without feeling like they are letting everyone down. By choosing an elopement, you can take time for both of you when you feel like it.
Why should the so-called best day of our life also be the most stressful? Because everyone says so? Because we are afraid of looking weird if we do otherwise? Why not celebrate this day by removing the superficial?
The majority of the couples who approach us tell us that they have started planning a traditional wedding only to realize that this is really not what they wanted and choose to elope instead!
Traditional weddings produce a LOT of waste. Are you ready for staggering numbers? An average wedding day produces between 400 and 600 pounds of waste. Multiply that by the 160,000 weddings that take place approximately every year in Canada and you end up with … over 90 million tonnes of waste tamed at the landfill. All this for a big ONE-DAY party! Of course, an elopement is not entirely without environmental impact, but even if you decide to fly to the other side of the planet to get married, you probably have much less impact. And what if you decide to elope in Quebec … If you don’t want to be part of the problem, say goodbye to big wedding plans and get married in a ceremony with low environmental impact.
The good news of your engagement are barely announced and your mother already asked you not to sit Aunt Jane at the same table as cousin Alex? What about your father’s new flame? Is the time spent making a table plan that will appeal to everyone already a nightmare?
There may also be drama queens/kings in your family. People around you who can’t help bringing everything back to them? Worried that your mother would relaunch her old quarrel with Aunt Monique? Or your brother-in-law that always drinks too much and wants to fight with everyone after emptying the bar? It sounds a bit over the top, but we have already seen it. And your wedding day should certainly not mean drama!
In another order of ideas, friends or family members may have a problem with your relationship … There are many legitimate reasons why people who love you may disapprove of your relationship (dating someone toxic or violent, for example). But sometimes friends and family members may not like your soul mate because he / she practices a different religion or comes from a different country. Maybe they don’t accept your sexual orientation? It shouldn’t stop you from getting married!
Often the bride becomes the center of attention during a large wedding and the groom’s opinion is sidelined. Unfortunately, many grooms don’t really care until they say YES because they don’t feel involved. Eloping allows you to create a wedding adventure that reflects both your personalities and a day that you will both love!
Choosing to elope forces you to discuss the priorities of your day, to create a day that is true to your relationship and, ultimately, to deepen even more the bonds which unite you. This allows the two of you to make decisions that belong to you, not just the one to make their own decisions with the other who shows up on D-Day. What a wonderful way to start your life together as partners and spouses!
Finally, for those who are still undecided, we hope that this article on the reasons for eloping will help you to clarify your weddings plans and give you the confidence to make the right choices for you. If you’ve always dreamed of a big wedding, organize one. But if you want to do something completely intimate or invite a few friends and your close family, do it! Know that we will be there for you every step of the way, to encourage you and give life to your dreams!
Salut! On est Patrick & Josée.
On est les guides et photographes de mariage intime et d'elopement derrière Love is Nord. Amoureux d'aventures et de voyages, on adore fusionner les paysages et les gens. Basés à Québec, on est toujours partants pour vous aider à planifier et photographier votre mariage partout dans la province et même ailleurs dans le monde.
On vous promet de vous aider à faire de votre journée de mariage une expérience significative et personnalisée. On est ici pour répondre à toutes vos questions concernant les mariages intimes et les elopements. On a vraiment hâte de vous aider à planifier votre journée à votre image.
Contactez-nous et laissez-nous vous guider.